The Homemaking Ministry Part 1

The Homemaking Ministry Part 1

Growing up I had always thought being a wife and caring for a home is very simple that it comes naturally to a woman. So after I got married over five years back I laid back and expected things to just fall in place. That is just how naive I was. Today I know that homemaking is a full time job and that it requires one’s full attention and energy. Homemaking is a ministry for every woman and wife, one that if neglected can ruin the lives of the family members involved.

So, in this blog post I share just how much i learnt about home making and the qualities I had to cultivate to successfully run my home.

I count it a privilege that as a woman I have a  home and family and I know that it is a blessing from God, so I look up to Him daily for strength and wisdom because over the years I have learned that I can not do anything without His help.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says wisdom builds your home, understanding establishes it, and “by knowledge the rooms are filled” with “precious and pleasant riches.” You gain wisdom, understanding, and knowledge by reading and studying the Word of God

A home is more than just the building where you and your family lives. It is also the atmosphere or feeling that your family member carry everywhere. That emotion that makes them to look forward to getting back to the house. God entrusted women with duties of making a home and caring for the family. I believe He has deposited something in women that qualifies the to carry this beautiful responsibility.

Proverbs 31:27 says a godly wife “watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She’s a dedicated and hardworking woman who tends her garden with care. A modern Christian wife follows in her footsteps. 

How a home is run can either make or break the people in it. This means that it takes deliberate action towards executing everything that will help you to effortlessly run your home. There will be challenges here and there but it will all fall  into place as long as you do things according to how the word of God says. God never fails remember?

Here are a few tips that help me and I believe they will also help you in your Homemaking ministry..

Love what you do

  • Firstly, you need to fall in love with everything that comes as a responsibility for you. Accept the things that you have to do without comparing yourself with another person or your spouse. Fall in love with cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids if that is what you have to do. Once you Love what you do, then you will see that it is now enjoyable when doing it and it will bring joy to you when you accomplish those duties.

Pay attention

  • Paying attention to your home is and family members is a very vital quality. if exercised daily it can save you a lot of time and energy. There are so many distractions around us and most women and wive work full time jobs, but we still have to try our best to focus on the happenings around our homes. Paying attention includes listening without interpreting, showing interest in every conversation or play, noticing the smallest changes in the house or with the kids behavior, being present when your spouse needs your help, knowing where to find things around the house, the list is long, but I supposed you get the idea.

Manage time well

  • Time management is a bit of a challenge especially since most women have jobs. It is still important that we manage our time well and have a schedule for some of the things done in the home. Remember that what we do in the home also contributes to the molding of our children. create time for playing with the kids and create time for your spouse as well and everybody should know just how to respect each other’s time.

Put your foot down, but kill the fun

  • Every family has a set of rules that every member has to abide by. have a set of rules that will help you run the home and do not compromise easily. Let the other members help you with some chores, have the kids sleep at the same time on weekdays for example, anything that works for all of you. the rules have to be respected.

Be Hospitable 

  • Hospitality is very crucial for every woman and wife. A home is supposed to be welcoming to visitors. How you receive and treat  people in your home says a lot about your family.  Its a skill that the whole family needs to lean intensively because children can embarrass you in the presence of visitors so they need to be let in on what exactly they are supposed to do when visitors come in.

Be clean Always

  •  It is said that cleanliness is next to Godliness! A clean home is very attractive and safe but an unkept home is unsafe and emanates negative energy. Learn to keep things in order and get rid of staff that you do not use or need-that is, avoid clutter! teach your children to stay clean as well. 

Be spontaneous and keep learning

  •  There is a lot that is involve in homemaking and it is a personal responsibility for every woman to make time for learning new things all the time. Learn new recipes, new games, home decorations just to mention a few. Stay unpredictable and you will see just how you become the number one mother and wife

Hope these will help you track where you are. there is a lot to it I just can not put it all in one post. Thank you for reading. 

In my next blog post o will write on the different areas that need your attention in the home as a homemaker. look out for it

 

Love Amede

To the beautifuly and wonderfully created Woman!

To the beautifuly and wonderfully created Woman!

This is for the woman who soaks her pillow at night. I have been there, I share your pain.

To the woman who have given her all and still doesn’t get anything in return. Your giving will not be in vain. Hold on to hope!

This is for the woman who has lost a loved one. Go on cry and let it all out. Then cherish the beautiful memories you have!

To the woman who has been shunned, rejected and battered! Crawl back to your heavenly father, let him give you peace and rest!

This is for you, bruised woman. You feel like you have crumbled to the floor. Arise! Pick up the pieces and stand tall.

To you forgotten woman! I see you. You are visible and capable. Take charge and make your story known. Let the world see you.

This goes to the woman who just wants to be loved. Love is within you! Let it overflow!

To the woman whose husband doesn’t return home after work! The clock ticks and he is far from home. Take a deep breath and kneel down.

To the woman who feels unfulfilled, the sky is the limit! Explore your options and work hard!

You are your home maker. You are creative oh woman. Look up! There is hope. Let go of the past and move forward! Let love lead

P.S

Love Amede💖

Love Amede Quotes #1

Love Amede Quotes #1

Our life is a matter of choices. One a daily basis we make choices, whether simple or complex. The decisions we make today may affect us tomorrow positively or negatively. Therefore great thought has to go into making complex choices about our lives. It is here that one has to put aside pleasing people because we are the ones that hold the pen of our lives.

If you were to choose between turning the pages or closing the book, what will you choose? As for me I will choose to just turn the page. I will not close the book yet, because the moment I close the book it means my journey has ended. It means I have quit. I would rather just turn the pages so that I can still be able to know and experience what the next chapter has for me. Some people may opt to close the book just because something bad happened, and I think it is a huge mistake.

Life has different chapters and one bad chapter does not mean its the end of the book. When one door closes another door of opportunity opens. Yes, you may be experiencing sad and miserable chapters, you may be hurting and losing all hope, but you will not be spending your entire life in that unhappy state. Life goes on. If you will choose to close the book, you will never be able to know the ending. So why close the entire book if you can still turn the pages? We are free to make our choices in life but we need to be very careful in choosing. Some things happen to teach us lessons and to learn from it; not to give us reasons to give up. Have hope and see the light in the future.

Love Amede

How To Deal With a Narcissist

How To Deal With a Narcissist

In my previous post we explored the traits of a narcissist, today we learn on how we can deal with such people in our relationships. Living with a narcissistic person can be extremely trying. So, what can you do if you find yourself in a close relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 3:1‭-‬5

The number one step is to recognise the traits either in your spouse or yourself and how you have been responding to it. Perhaps you have been responding to a narcissistic individual aggressively and without patience. Perhaps you have been unloving and withdrawing. This is unlikely to help the situation. Step back and reflect on the situation

Pride is a reason people do not feel they need a savior or forgiveness. Pride tells them they are “good” people or have a “good” heart. Pride also blinds people to their own personal responsibility and accountability for sin. Narcissism (pride) masks sin, whereas the gospel reveals the truth that leads to remorse for sin. Narcissistic traits can be dangerous because, at their worst, they will lead a person to destroy others to satisfy the lust of the flesh (2 Timothy 3:2-8).

Second, stop criticizing and start encouraging solutions. Encourage them to repent and develop a strong relationship with Christ. The further we withdraw from Christ the more we tend to develop negative habits. Labeling in this situation won’t help anything, neither will criticizing them. Instead of criticizing, isolate specific issues you wish to change and enlist your mate in working with you to change them—one at a time. Keep a positive focus, pray for them and use your strengths in solving problems.

Third, attack the problem, not the person. Learn to separate the person from the problem. When we get born again, God does not see sin in us, he sees us as perfect and sin is seperate from us. So, Choose a particular aspect of the narcissistic traits and encourage him/her to work on the problem with you. For example, if you don’t feel heard, ask them to practice listening techniques with you.

Fourth, set healthy boundaries. When the narcissist in your life tries to manipulate what you say, gently stop them and speak in a calm manner. When they attempt to twist your words, gently set a boundary. Speak up so you are both heard and so there is mutuality in your marriage. Do not get angry during discussions as this will only make the situation worse.

Fifth, develop a prayerful life together. Praying together will draw you even more closer and expose the things that feeds the negative behavior. Learn to handle everything with prayer first before you can discuss it. Let the word of God reign in your hearts so as you can easily meditate on it. This will help to deal with the problem from the root. It will restore the thought pattern of the narccisist. The word of God says “as a man thinketh so is he”

Finally, seek professional help. A little bit of narcissism in a marriage can be toxic and emotionally draining. The narcissistic individual is likely to be overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor slights and becoming overly aggressive in response to these slights. Professionals can help you build a safe relationship where issues can be managed and resolved.

Try all these suggested tips and reply back if you find them helpful.

Love Amede

In a relationship with a narcissist?

In a relationship with a narcissist?

Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.

A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.

Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.

One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.

A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.

Red flags

# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right

# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught

# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own

# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.

# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong

# Avoids emotions and accountability

# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.

# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.

These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.

Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.

In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.

Death By Pride

Death By Pride

You have brought down kings and brought shame to the queen’s palace. Thrones have been shaken and kingdoms destroyed.

You have seperated the strongest bonds and severed the deepest relations. You are heartless! The mighty cannot escape from you!

For a moment you seem right, you seem true but only poison springs from your wells. You deceive the elect!

You are silent and deadly, you seperate people from their God. Even God resists the ones that entertain you. He cannot be in the same place with you! No!

Your aim is pure destruction, without mercy you scatter the works of love. I have seen your works, I have tasted the bitterness of your friendship, I quit!

Where you pass only Ashes and broken hearts remain. Your sting is stronger than that of a serpent.

What medicine must I take to sooth the pains of your touch? How must I separate myself from you?

By the Sword I will separate myself from you. By the Word that is ever true. I will hold on to humility and I will uphold my maker forever. My heart will I guard forever!

Love will take your place in my heart. It will brake that seemingly strong bond. I will die to myself, yes! and arise in Christ! Grace is sufficient!

Never again will I hold on to vanity! I quit.

………………………………………………………………

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2

An intense preoccupation with the self is an indication of the presence of pride. When everything seems to revolve around you. “ME, MYSELF AND I”.

Pride clouds judgment. It births lies and God resists such people because they feel they do not need anyone and that anyone includes God. For those who feel that they need God in their lives there is humility where they highly esteem God and esteem others as well.

It because of pride that Lucifer lost his place in heaven. Eve also because of pride, ate the forbidden fruit and she and her husband were led away from the garden of Eden. They both fell from grace and there was a separation between them and God.
James 4:6 says that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

More often we let pride creep in our relationships and our marriages. Love and pride cannot be in one place. The presence of love purely means the absence of pride.

Because of pride one can never find it easy to admit to their wrong let alone apologies. It destroys relationships.
Today, if you will humble yourself before God, He will exalt you. Choose now to humble yourself before the mighty hand of God because there is wisdom in true humility and people tend to gravitate toward humble people. So too does God.

P.S 😍

Love Amede