The Homemaking Ministry Part 2

The Homemaking Ministry Part 2

In the last blog post we explored the qualities needed for successfully running a home. Today I thought I should let you in the four key areas that need our attention in this beautiful ministry of homemaking.

It is very easy to neglect some areas in the home since we have very hectic schedules ranging from formal jobs, raising kids, planning for meals and so on. We need to strive for balance in everything that we do. At times we even wake up and carry on with our day forgetting to even ask God for guidance in all we do!

firstly, I would like to say, “we are all capable!”. We all have the capability to do the things that are our responsibility. With deliberate planning and commitment it can be done so well. So, lets get to it! The various areas that need our attention at home.

1. Hospitality

There is so much I have to say about hospitality. In fact, it can be an entire blog post. Hospitality is not Entertaining. Hospitality is not about the spotless home but focusing on the one that walks through the door of your welcoming home.
Real hospitality is when you entirely focus on your guests and welcome someone them.  The person entering your home, if truly seeking connection, is not checking the dust bunnies in your corners, the dishes that might be stacked by the sink and the dirt on your toddler’s face & shirt. People want to be known and cared for. I tell you the truth that hospitality is fearless and freeing once you come to embrace the true meaning of hospitality.

2. Health And Safety

A clean home is a healthy and safe home. keeping your home clean will help you accomplish and maintain a healthy, safe environment for your family members. Everything has to be placed appropriately. I know it can be quite tough when you have toddlers running around the house. its quite a job! It goes beyond this though. Keeping a healthy and safe home also includes preparing healthy food for the family. This is very crucial as since eating habits will either harm your family or help them live longer.

3. Diet

This is one area that most of us find challenging. We are the ones that build the eating habits for our children so we owe it to them to practice healthy eating habits from an early age. Children can eat sweets here and there or snack on junk food, it just dos not have to be a daily thing. It is actually easy for them to follow through when they observe us doing the same. As homemakers we need to determine the kind of foods that are served in our homes as well as educate the rest of the family on healthy eating.

4. Parenting

For families that are blessed with children, parenting may prove to be more challenging than expected if the parents themselves do not agree on a common ground. Both parents have to hold the sword here. parenting is different for every household but there has to be proper communication as to how it will be done. Agree on discipline and how it will be administered. Children can be very manipulative if they sense a division among the parents so do not let them outsmart you!.

There are more areas that need your full attention in your home but i just wanted to focus on these four! It takes continuous learning and hard work for us to run beautiful homes and god does enable us for it all.

P. S

Love Amede

The Homemaking Ministry Part 1

The Homemaking Ministry Part 1

Growing up I had always thought being a wife and caring for a home is very simple that it comes naturally to a woman. So after I got married over five years back I laid back and expected things to just fall in place. That is just how naive I was. Today I know that homemaking is a full time job and that it requires one’s full attention and energy. Homemaking is a ministry for every woman and wife, one that if neglected can ruin the lives of the family members involved.

So, in this blog post I share just how much i learnt about home making and the qualities I had to cultivate to successfully run my home.

I count it a privilege that as a woman I have a  home and family and I know that it is a blessing from God, so I look up to Him daily for strength and wisdom because over the years I have learned that I can not do anything without His help.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says wisdom builds your home, understanding establishes it, and “by knowledge the rooms are filled” with “precious and pleasant riches.” You gain wisdom, understanding, and knowledge by reading and studying the Word of God

A home is more than just the building where you and your family lives. It is also the atmosphere or feeling that your family member carry everywhere. That emotion that makes them to look forward to getting back to the house. God entrusted women with duties of making a home and caring for the family. I believe He has deposited something in women that qualifies the to carry this beautiful responsibility.

Proverbs 31:27 says a godly wife “watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She’s a dedicated and hardworking woman who tends her garden with care. A modern Christian wife follows in her footsteps. 

How a home is run can either make or break the people in it. This means that it takes deliberate action towards executing everything that will help you to effortlessly run your home. There will be challenges here and there but it will all fall  into place as long as you do things according to how the word of God says. God never fails remember?

Here are a few tips that help me and I believe they will also help you in your Homemaking ministry..

Love what you do

  • Firstly, you need to fall in love with everything that comes as a responsibility for you. Accept the things that you have to do without comparing yourself with another person or your spouse. Fall in love with cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids if that is what you have to do. Once you Love what you do, then you will see that it is now enjoyable when doing it and it will bring joy to you when you accomplish those duties.

Pay attention

  • Paying attention to your home is and family members is a very vital quality. if exercised daily it can save you a lot of time and energy. There are so many distractions around us and most women and wive work full time jobs, but we still have to try our best to focus on the happenings around our homes. Paying attention includes listening without interpreting, showing interest in every conversation or play, noticing the smallest changes in the house or with the kids behavior, being present when your spouse needs your help, knowing where to find things around the house, the list is long, but I supposed you get the idea.

Manage time well

  • Time management is a bit of a challenge especially since most women have jobs. It is still important that we manage our time well and have a schedule for some of the things done in the home. Remember that what we do in the home also contributes to the molding of our children. create time for playing with the kids and create time for your spouse as well and everybody should know just how to respect each other’s time.

Put your foot down, but kill the fun

  • Every family has a set of rules that every member has to abide by. have a set of rules that will help you run the home and do not compromise easily. Let the other members help you with some chores, have the kids sleep at the same time on weekdays for example, anything that works for all of you. the rules have to be respected.

Be Hospitable 

  • Hospitality is very crucial for every woman and wife. A home is supposed to be welcoming to visitors. How you receive and treat  people in your home says a lot about your family.  Its a skill that the whole family needs to lean intensively because children can embarrass you in the presence of visitors so they need to be let in on what exactly they are supposed to do when visitors come in.

Be clean Always

  •  It is said that cleanliness is next to Godliness! A clean home is very attractive and safe but an unkept home is unsafe and emanates negative energy. Learn to keep things in order and get rid of staff that you do not use or need-that is, avoid clutter! teach your children to stay clean as well. 

Be spontaneous and keep learning

  •  There is a lot that is involve in homemaking and it is a personal responsibility for every woman to make time for learning new things all the time. Learn new recipes, new games, home decorations just to mention a few. Stay unpredictable and you will see just how you become the number one mother and wife

Hope these will help you track where you are. there is a lot to it I just can not put it all in one post. Thank you for reading. 

In my next blog post o will write on the different areas that need your attention in the home as a homemaker. look out for it

 

Love Amede

How To Deal With a Narcissist

How To Deal With a Narcissist

In my previous post we explored the traits of a narcissist, today we learn on how we can deal with such people in our relationships. Living with a narcissistic person can be extremely trying. So, what can you do if you find yourself in a close relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 3:1‭-‬5

The number one step is to recognise the traits either in your spouse or yourself and how you have been responding to it. Perhaps you have been responding to a narcissistic individual aggressively and without patience. Perhaps you have been unloving and withdrawing. This is unlikely to help the situation. Step back and reflect on the situation

Pride is a reason people do not feel they need a savior or forgiveness. Pride tells them they are “good” people or have a “good” heart. Pride also blinds people to their own personal responsibility and accountability for sin. Narcissism (pride) masks sin, whereas the gospel reveals the truth that leads to remorse for sin. Narcissistic traits can be dangerous because, at their worst, they will lead a person to destroy others to satisfy the lust of the flesh (2 Timothy 3:2-8).

Second, stop criticizing and start encouraging solutions. Encourage them to repent and develop a strong relationship with Christ. The further we withdraw from Christ the more we tend to develop negative habits. Labeling in this situation won’t help anything, neither will criticizing them. Instead of criticizing, isolate specific issues you wish to change and enlist your mate in working with you to change them—one at a time. Keep a positive focus, pray for them and use your strengths in solving problems.

Third, attack the problem, not the person. Learn to separate the person from the problem. When we get born again, God does not see sin in us, he sees us as perfect and sin is seperate from us. So, Choose a particular aspect of the narcissistic traits and encourage him/her to work on the problem with you. For example, if you don’t feel heard, ask them to practice listening techniques with you.

Fourth, set healthy boundaries. When the narcissist in your life tries to manipulate what you say, gently stop them and speak in a calm manner. When they attempt to twist your words, gently set a boundary. Speak up so you are both heard and so there is mutuality in your marriage. Do not get angry during discussions as this will only make the situation worse.

Fifth, develop a prayerful life together. Praying together will draw you even more closer and expose the things that feeds the negative behavior. Learn to handle everything with prayer first before you can discuss it. Let the word of God reign in your hearts so as you can easily meditate on it. This will help to deal with the problem from the root. It will restore the thought pattern of the narccisist. The word of God says “as a man thinketh so is he”

Finally, seek professional help. A little bit of narcissism in a marriage can be toxic and emotionally draining. The narcissistic individual is likely to be overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor slights and becoming overly aggressive in response to these slights. Professionals can help you build a safe relationship where issues can be managed and resolved.

Try all these suggested tips and reply back if you find them helpful.

Love Amede

In a relationship with a narcissist?

In a relationship with a narcissist?

Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.

A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.

Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.

One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.

A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.

Red flags

# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right

# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught

# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own

# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.

# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong

# Avoids emotions and accountability

# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.

# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.

These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.

Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.

In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.

Death By Pride

Death By Pride

You have brought down kings and brought shame to the queen’s palace. Thrones have been shaken and kingdoms destroyed.

You have seperated the strongest bonds and severed the deepest relations. You are heartless! The mighty cannot escape from you!

For a moment you seem right, you seem true but only poison springs from your wells. You deceive the elect!

You are silent and deadly, you seperate people from their God. Even God resists the ones that entertain you. He cannot be in the same place with you! No!

Your aim is pure destruction, without mercy you scatter the works of love. I have seen your works, I have tasted the bitterness of your friendship, I quit!

Where you pass only Ashes and broken hearts remain. Your sting is stronger than that of a serpent.

What medicine must I take to sooth the pains of your touch? How must I separate myself from you?

By the Sword I will separate myself from you. By the Word that is ever true. I will hold on to humility and I will uphold my maker forever. My heart will I guard forever!

Love will take your place in my heart. It will brake that seemingly strong bond. I will die to myself, yes! and arise in Christ! Grace is sufficient!

Never again will I hold on to vanity! I quit.

………………………………………………………………

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2

An intense preoccupation with the self is an indication of the presence of pride. When everything seems to revolve around you. “ME, MYSELF AND I”.

Pride clouds judgment. It births lies and God resists such people because they feel they do not need anyone and that anyone includes God. For those who feel that they need God in their lives there is humility where they highly esteem God and esteem others as well.

It because of pride that Lucifer lost his place in heaven. Eve also because of pride, ate the forbidden fruit and she and her husband were led away from the garden of Eden. They both fell from grace and there was a separation between them and God.
James 4:6 says that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

More often we let pride creep in our relationships and our marriages. Love and pride cannot be in one place. The presence of love purely means the absence of pride.

Because of pride one can never find it easy to admit to their wrong let alone apologies. It destroys relationships.
Today, if you will humble yourself before God, He will exalt you. Choose now to humble yourself before the mighty hand of God because there is wisdom in true humility and people tend to gravitate toward humble people. So too does God.

P.S 😍

Love Amede

How I grieved my new born baby

How I grieved my new born baby

He would be 3 Today! I have not talked publicly about this until today! This day marks his third birthday and I am more at peace today than in the first year of his passing . Time really heals. Nonetheless, I can’t help but imagine how big he would be today and how my life would have been with him around.

March 30th 2015 I lost my precious baby boy, Jediel– the name I never got to call him. It broke my heart to think I had a healthy pregnancy and I lost him due to the carelessness of the nurses at the clinic. I was just left numb and confused. Nothing made sense to me at all. My family and friends were there for me. Church mates were there for me, they encouraged me. For the first weeks and perhaps months, everybody’s words were just bouncing off my ears.

I needed someone to blame. The nurses more than ever yes! But I felt I needed more. A part of me blamed God! The only God I had to run to for comfort. There were so many unanswered questions in my mind I was in a battlefield. I embarked on a journey to find answers in the word of God, I needed to understand what he really says about death, about children dying. I searched for articles on the Internet in order for me to understand more, to know where my baby was. I clang to this for weeks, but it left me even confused because of my approach to it.

Now, because I could not find the answers I wanted I began to withdraw myself from the only thing that could have held me together- God. Only to find comfort in the things that would eventually destroy me. I suffered from panic attacks especially on his first birthday. It was then I realised that I needed to rise. I knew what I had to do. I had to trace myself back to God. The only one who knows more than I do. I went back to His word. This time with an open mind, ready to be comforted by Him. He did not fail me! He never does!

The word of God is true, it is deep and needs understanding when one searches through it. With human understanding one can never unravel its mysteries.

God Himself is mystery. He always makes a way out! He speaks all the time, we just stop listening at times. His love and mercies endures forever!

P.S

Love Amede