To the beautifuly and wonderfully created Woman!

This is for the woman who soaks her pillow at night. I have been there, I share your pain.

To the woman who have given her all and still doesn’t get anything in return. Your giving will not be in vain. Hold on to hope!

This is for the woman who has lost a loved one. Go on cry and let it all out. Then cherish the beautiful memories you have!

To the woman who has been shunned, rejected and battered! Crawl back to your heavenly father, let him give you peace and rest!

This is for you, bruised woman. You feel like you have crumbled to the floor. Arise! Pick up the pieces and stand tall.

To you forgotten woman! I see you. You are visible and capable. Take charge and make your story known. Let the world see you.

This goes to the woman who just wants to be loved. Love is within you! Let it overflow!

To the woman whose husband doesn’t return home after work! The clock ticks and he is far from home. Take a deep breath and kneel down.

To the woman who feels unfulfilled, the sky is the limit! Explore your options and work hard!

You are your home maker. You are creative oh woman. Look up! There is hope. Let go of the past and move forward! Let love lead

P.S

Love Amede💖

How To Deal With a Narcissist

In my previous post we explored the traits of a narcissist, today we learn on how we can deal with such people in our relationships. Living with a narcissistic person can be extremely trying. So, what can you do if you find yourself in a close relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 3:1‭-‬5

The number one step is to recognise the traits either in your spouse or yourself and how you have been responding to it. Perhaps you have been responding to a narcissistic individual aggressively and without patience. Perhaps you have been unloving and withdrawing. This is unlikely to help the situation. Step back and reflect on the situation

Pride is a reason people do not feel they need a savior or forgiveness. Pride tells them they are “good” people or have a “good” heart. Pride also blinds people to their own personal responsibility and accountability for sin. Narcissism (pride) masks sin, whereas the gospel reveals the truth that leads to remorse for sin. Narcissistic traits can be dangerous because, at their worst, they will lead a person to destroy others to satisfy the lust of the flesh (2 Timothy 3:2-8).

Second, stop criticizing and start encouraging solutions. Encourage them to repent and develop a strong relationship with Christ. The further we withdraw from Christ the more we tend to develop negative habits. Labeling in this situation won’t help anything, neither will criticizing them. Instead of criticizing, isolate specific issues you wish to change and enlist your mate in working with you to change them—one at a time. Keep a positive focus, pray for them and use your strengths in solving problems.

Third, attack the problem, not the person. Learn to separate the person from the problem. When we get born again, God does not see sin in us, he sees us as perfect and sin is seperate from us. So, Choose a particular aspect of the narcissistic traits and encourage him/her to work on the problem with you. For example, if you don’t feel heard, ask them to practice listening techniques with you.

Fourth, set healthy boundaries. When the narcissist in your life tries to manipulate what you say, gently stop them and speak in a calm manner. When they attempt to twist your words, gently set a boundary. Speak up so you are both heard and so there is mutuality in your marriage. Do not get angry during discussions as this will only make the situation worse.

Fifth, develop a prayerful life together. Praying together will draw you even more closer and expose the things that feeds the negative behavior. Learn to handle everything with prayer first before you can discuss it. Let the word of God reign in your hearts so as you can easily meditate on it. This will help to deal with the problem from the root. It will restore the thought pattern of the narccisist. The word of God says “as a man thinketh so is he”

Finally, seek professional help. A little bit of narcissism in a marriage can be toxic and emotionally draining. The narcissistic individual is likely to be overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor slights and becoming overly aggressive in response to these slights. Professionals can help you build a safe relationship where issues can be managed and resolved.

Try all these suggested tips and reply back if you find them helpful.

Love Amede

In a relationship with a narcissist?

Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.

A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.

Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.

One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.

A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.

Red flags

# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right

# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught

# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own

# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.

# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong

# Avoids emotions and accountability

# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.

# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.

These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.

Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.

In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.

Death By Pride

You have brought down kings and brought shame to the queen’s palace. Thrones have been shaken and kingdoms destroyed.

You have seperated the strongest bonds and severed the deepest relations. You are heartless! The mighty cannot escape from you!

For a moment you seem right, you seem true but only poison springs from your wells. You deceive the elect!

You are silent and deadly, you seperate people from their God. Even God resists the ones that entertain you. He cannot be in the same place with you! No!

Your aim is pure destruction, without mercy you scatter the works of love. I have seen your works, I have tasted the bitterness of your friendship, I quit!

Where you pass only Ashes and broken hearts remain. Your sting is stronger than that of a serpent.

What medicine must I take to sooth the pains of your touch? How must I separate myself from you?

By the Sword I will separate myself from you. By the Word that is ever true. I will hold on to humility and I will uphold my maker forever. My heart will I guard forever!

Love will take your place in my heart. It will brake that seemingly strong bond. I will die to myself, yes! and arise in Christ! Grace is sufficient!

Never again will I hold on to vanity! I quit.

………………………………………………………………

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2

An intense preoccupation with the self is an indication of the presence of pride. When everything seems to revolve around you. “ME, MYSELF AND I”.

Pride clouds judgment. It births lies and God resists such people because they feel they do not need anyone and that anyone includes God. For those who feel that they need God in their lives there is humility where they highly esteem God and esteem others as well.

It because of pride that Lucifer lost his place in heaven. Eve also because of pride, ate the forbidden fruit and she and her husband were led away from the garden of Eden. They both fell from grace and there was a separation between them and God.
James 4:6 says that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

More often we let pride creep in our relationships and our marriages. Love and pride cannot be in one place. The presence of love purely means the absence of pride.

Because of pride one can never find it easy to admit to their wrong let alone apologies. It destroys relationships.
Today, if you will humble yourself before God, He will exalt you. Choose now to humble yourself before the mighty hand of God because there is wisdom in true humility and people tend to gravitate toward humble people. So too does God.

P.S 😍

Love Amede

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: