Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.
A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.
Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.
One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.
A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.
# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right
# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught
# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own
# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.
# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong
# Avoids emotions and accountability
# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.
# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.
These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.
Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.
In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.