To the beautifuly and wonderfully created Woman!

This is for the woman who soaks her pillow at night. I have been there, I share your pain.

To the woman who have given her all and still doesn’t get anything in return. Your giving will not be in vain. Hold on to hope!

This is for the woman who has lost a loved one. Go on cry and let it all out. Then cherish the beautiful memories you have!

To the woman who has been shunned, rejected and battered! Crawl back to your heavenly father, let him give you peace and rest!

This is for you, bruised woman. You feel like you have crumbled to the floor. Arise! Pick up the pieces and stand tall.

To you forgotten woman! I see you. You are visible and capable. Take charge and make your story known. Let the world see you.

This goes to the woman who just wants to be loved. Love is within you! Let it overflow!

To the woman whose husband doesn’t return home after work! The clock ticks and he is far from home. Take a deep breath and kneel down.

To the woman who feels unfulfilled, the sky is the limit! Explore your options and work hard!

You are your home maker. You are creative oh woman. Look up! There is hope. Let go of the past and move forward! Let love lead

P.S

Love Amede💖

Behind the MASK!

One way or the other most of us are facing fear – We are afraid of being seen for who we truly are. We are Afraid of seeing ourselves for who we really are. We are Afraid of confronting our limiting beliefs, and we avoid facing fear by hiding!

Proverbs 13:7
There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth.

In the quest to prevent our true inner self from being seen, we wear a symbolic or metaphorical mask over our authentic personality in the hope that we will remain hidden. Behind it there is confusion, fear and loneliness. But we hide this. We don’t want anyone to know it. We panic that our weakness and fear will be exposed.

That is why we sometimes create a mask behind which to hide. An indifferent and sophisticated facade that helps us to pretend. It serves as a shield before a knowing eye. As long as it makes us feel accepted and loved. That we are someone, that we are worthy.

Why do we put on a mask?

Fear and doubt
It is fear and doubt that creates the mask, and fear which keeps it in place. What we miss is that the mask hides our true and most beautiful self from both ourselves and from the world. It prevents us from becoming our best potential.

In order to find our authentic self we must align ourselves with the word of God and face fear by digging down to the deepest, most hidden part of ourselves, that fearful place where we dread what we think is hidden.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

When we dig deeply enough into our hidden nature we find not darkness but light and the realization that our safety lies in actually letting down the mask and being seen in being our true selves.

Are you hiding behind a mask? Would you be surprised if I told you that most people are not being who they truly are and that, in fact, we are trained or influenced by many factors from a very early age to move away from our true selves.

Growing up, we are taught by other people or the society on how to behave, how to think, what to believe and who to be. We are given direct or indirect messages that if we behave in certain ways this and that will happen. That we are not good enough. And that certain behaviors, emotions and ways of thinking are bad. Forever trying to please!

Because of this early conditioning, some people create masks so that they can belong and feel as if they fit in. They want to gain the approval and acceptance of others. Many people fall so fully into living behind their masks that they never have the opportunity to experience the richness of who they really are. Very sad!

I am certainly no exception to the rule. I grew up with so many misleading negative believes and perceptions. This influenced the courses I chose at school, the people I hanged with, the visions I had about my future, the relationships I entered into and so on. This was the role I played so that I would be accepted!

This same problem exists for so many others. I see people every day that are trapped behind a mask that they have created. Many are stuck in bad jobs or relationships and have given up hope that they can ever have the life that they truly want.

Are you worried that this may be you?

-Do you feel like you are living a lie?

-You are persuing a job or are you in a relationship that you know isn’t right for you?

-Have you dealt with depression or anxiety?

-How often do you experience pure joy?

-Do You find yourself jealous or envying others?

If you are familiar with any of these qualities, the good news is that it is YOU who can absolutely break out from behind the mask. You can erase all the false and negative perceptions you have about life and replace them with positive goals and visions. You can uncover God’s promises over your life and live a fulfilled life. Once you begin being true to you, then you will find that you will be able to create the life that you’ve longed for…intentionally!

P.S

Love Amede

Love Amede Quotes #1

Our life is a matter of choices. One a daily basis we make choices, whether simple or complex. The decisions we make today may affect us tomorrow positively or negatively. Therefore great thought has to go into making complex choices about our lives. It is here that one has to put aside pleasing people because we are the ones that hold the pen of our lives.

If you were to choose between turning the pages or closing the book, what will you choose? As for me I will choose to just turn the page. I will not close the book yet, because the moment I close the book it means my journey has ended. It means I have quit. I would rather just turn the pages so that I can still be able to know and experience what the next chapter has for me. Some people may opt to close the book just because something bad happened, and I think it is a huge mistake.

Life has different chapters and one bad chapter does not mean its the end of the book. When one door closes another door of opportunity opens. Yes, you may be experiencing sad and miserable chapters, you may be hurting and losing all hope, but you will not be spending your entire life in that unhappy state. Life goes on. If you will choose to close the book, you will never be able to know the ending. So why close the entire book if you can still turn the pages? We are free to make our choices in life but we need to be very careful in choosing. Some things happen to teach us lessons and to learn from it; not to give us reasons to give up. Have hope and see the light in the future.

Love Amede

How To Deal With a Narcissist

In my previous post we explored the traits of a narcissist, today we learn on how we can deal with such people in our relationships. Living with a narcissistic person can be extremely trying. So, what can you do if you find yourself in a close relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 3:1‭-‬5

The number one step is to recognise the traits either in your spouse or yourself and how you have been responding to it. Perhaps you have been responding to a narcissistic individual aggressively and without patience. Perhaps you have been unloving and withdrawing. This is unlikely to help the situation. Step back and reflect on the situation

Pride is a reason people do not feel they need a savior or forgiveness. Pride tells them they are “good” people or have a “good” heart. Pride also blinds people to their own personal responsibility and accountability for sin. Narcissism (pride) masks sin, whereas the gospel reveals the truth that leads to remorse for sin. Narcissistic traits can be dangerous because, at their worst, they will lead a person to destroy others to satisfy the lust of the flesh (2 Timothy 3:2-8).

Second, stop criticizing and start encouraging solutions. Encourage them to repent and develop a strong relationship with Christ. The further we withdraw from Christ the more we tend to develop negative habits. Labeling in this situation won’t help anything, neither will criticizing them. Instead of criticizing, isolate specific issues you wish to change and enlist your mate in working with you to change them—one at a time. Keep a positive focus, pray for them and use your strengths in solving problems.

Third, attack the problem, not the person. Learn to separate the person from the problem. When we get born again, God does not see sin in us, he sees us as perfect and sin is seperate from us. So, Choose a particular aspect of the narcissistic traits and encourage him/her to work on the problem with you. For example, if you don’t feel heard, ask them to practice listening techniques with you.

Fourth, set healthy boundaries. When the narcissist in your life tries to manipulate what you say, gently stop them and speak in a calm manner. When they attempt to twist your words, gently set a boundary. Speak up so you are both heard and so there is mutuality in your marriage. Do not get angry during discussions as this will only make the situation worse.

Fifth, develop a prayerful life together. Praying together will draw you even more closer and expose the things that feeds the negative behavior. Learn to handle everything with prayer first before you can discuss it. Let the word of God reign in your hearts so as you can easily meditate on it. This will help to deal with the problem from the root. It will restore the thought pattern of the narccisist. The word of God says “as a man thinketh so is he”

Finally, seek professional help. A little bit of narcissism in a marriage can be toxic and emotionally draining. The narcissistic individual is likely to be overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor slights and becoming overly aggressive in response to these slights. Professionals can help you build a safe relationship where issues can be managed and resolved.

Try all these suggested tips and reply back if you find them helpful.

Love Amede

In a relationship with a narcissist?

Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.

A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.

Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.

One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.

A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.

Red flags

# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right

# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught

# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own

# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.

# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong

# Avoids emotions and accountability

# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.

# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.

These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.

Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.

In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.

Death By Pride

You have brought down kings and brought shame to the queen’s palace. Thrones have been shaken and kingdoms destroyed.

You have seperated the strongest bonds and severed the deepest relations. You are heartless! The mighty cannot escape from you!

For a moment you seem right, you seem true but only poison springs from your wells. You deceive the elect!

You are silent and deadly, you seperate people from their God. Even God resists the ones that entertain you. He cannot be in the same place with you! No!

Your aim is pure destruction, without mercy you scatter the works of love. I have seen your works, I have tasted the bitterness of your friendship, I quit!

Where you pass only Ashes and broken hearts remain. Your sting is stronger than that of a serpent.

What medicine must I take to sooth the pains of your touch? How must I separate myself from you?

By the Sword I will separate myself from you. By the Word that is ever true. I will hold on to humility and I will uphold my maker forever. My heart will I guard forever!

Love will take your place in my heart. It will brake that seemingly strong bond. I will die to myself, yes! and arise in Christ! Grace is sufficient!

Never again will I hold on to vanity! I quit.

………………………………………………………………

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2

An intense preoccupation with the self is an indication of the presence of pride. When everything seems to revolve around you. “ME, MYSELF AND I”.

Pride clouds judgment. It births lies and God resists such people because they feel they do not need anyone and that anyone includes God. For those who feel that they need God in their lives there is humility where they highly esteem God and esteem others as well.

It because of pride that Lucifer lost his place in heaven. Eve also because of pride, ate the forbidden fruit and she and her husband were led away from the garden of Eden. They both fell from grace and there was a separation between them and God.
James 4:6 says that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

More often we let pride creep in our relationships and our marriages. Love and pride cannot be in one place. The presence of love purely means the absence of pride.

Because of pride one can never find it easy to admit to their wrong let alone apologies. It destroys relationships.
Today, if you will humble yourself before God, He will exalt you. Choose now to humble yourself before the mighty hand of God because there is wisdom in true humility and people tend to gravitate toward humble people. So too does God.

P.S 😍

Love Amede

I Beg To Differ

As much as it appalling to see the pressures that society has on humanity especially the children of God, it is more flabbergasting to see just how easy it is for us to simply conform. The ability for us to defend what we believe in and who we are has plunged to the ground. It has become the norm that we please people around us more than act on the word of God and hold on to its decrees.

The word of God has everything that we would want to know. It covers every erea of our lives from finances, parenting, marriage, work, just to name a few, but more often than not we chose to follow what the masses are doing. We do a Google search more than we open the bible on that issue. We consult a friend and social media and trust their word until we fail miserably then we trace our steps back to the Word. Back to squre one.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

God undeniably knew the dangers here. He had to. He is all knowing. He knew just how being compliant to the desires of the world would be harmful for us. We cannot be in compliance with the world and with God at the same time. We can only serve one master. At any given point you conform to the desires of the world, you are at that time not connected to the word of God.

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Matthew 6:24

I have been the biggest victim here. Going places I should not be going even though I knew I might end up doing what I am not supposed to do. Buying some things that I thought I needed at the expense of my tithes just to fit in. Then the devourer would extinguish the little that I have left. This list is extensive. I am sure all of us can put down a few things that we did or are still doing that the word of God has cautioned us against. Knowing the truth is always binding because our conscience will remind us of what is right and whst is wrong . God himself said He can not tempt us with what we can not come out of.

Today is the time to go back to His word- the master plan for our lives. Draw out of it the verdicts for every are of your life. Ask Him for the strength to follow his decrees. He is a present help in times of trouble.

Beg to differ! Do not be ashamed of choosing wisdom. It is profitable to direct. Be the odd one out if means anything. Let God be true and all men liars.

P.S

Love Amede

How I grieved my new born baby

He would be 3 Today! I have not talked publicly about this until today! This day marks his third birthday and I am more at peace today than in the first year of his passing . Time really heals. Nonetheless, I can’t help but imagine how big he would be today and how my life would have been with him around.

March 30th 2015 I lost my precious baby boy, Jediel– the name I never got to call him. It broke my heart to think I had a healthy pregnancy and I lost him due to the carelessness of the nurses at the clinic. I was just left numb and confused. Nothing made sense to me at all. My family and friends were there for me. Church mates were there for me, they encouraged me. For the first weeks and perhaps months, everybody’s words were just bouncing off my ears.

I needed someone to blame. The nurses more than ever yes! But I felt I needed more. A part of me blamed God! The only God I had to run to for comfort. There were so many unanswered questions in my mind I was in a battlefield. I embarked on a journey to find answers in the word of God, I needed to understand what he really says about death, about children dying. I searched for articles on the Internet in order for me to understand more, to know where my baby was. I clang to this for weeks, but it left me even confused because of my approach to it.

Now, because I could not find the answers I wanted I began to withdraw myself from the only thing that could have held me together- God. Only to find comfort in the things that would eventually destroy me. I suffered from panic attacks especially on his first birthday. It was then I realised that I needed to rise. I knew what I had to do. I had to trace myself back to God. The only one who knows more than I do. I went back to His word. This time with an open mind, ready to be comforted by Him. He did not fail me! He never does!

The word of God is true, it is deep and needs understanding when one searches through it. With human understanding one can never unravel its mysteries.

God Himself is mystery. He always makes a way out! He speaks all the time, we just stop listening at times. His love and mercies endures forever!

P.S

Love Amede

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