The Homemaking Ministry Part 1

Growing up I had always thought being a wife and caring for a home is very simple that it comes naturally to a woman. So after I got married over five years back I laid back and expected things to just fall in place. That is just how naive I was. Today I know that homemaking is a full time job and that it requires one’s full attention and energy. Homemaking is a ministry for every woman and wife, one that if neglected can ruin the lives of the family members involved.

So, in this blog post I share just how much i learnt about home making and the qualities I had to cultivate to successfully run my home.

I count it a privilege that as a woman I have a  home and family and I know that it is a blessing from God, so I look up to Him daily for strength and wisdom because over the years I have learned that I can not do anything without His help.

Proverbs 24:3-4 says wisdom builds your home, understanding establishes it, and “by knowledge the rooms are filled” with “precious and pleasant riches.” You gain wisdom, understanding, and knowledge by reading and studying the Word of God

A home is more than just the building where you and your family lives. It is also the atmosphere or feeling that your family member carry everywhere. That emotion that makes them to look forward to getting back to the house. God entrusted women with duties of making a home and caring for the family. I believe He has deposited something in women that qualifies the to carry this beautiful responsibility.

Proverbs 31:27 says a godly wife “watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She’s a dedicated and hardworking woman who tends her garden with care. A modern Christian wife follows in her footsteps. 

How a home is run can either make or break the people in it. This means that it takes deliberate action towards executing everything that will help you to effortlessly run your home. There will be challenges here and there but it will all fall  into place as long as you do things according to how the word of God says. God never fails remember?

Here are a few tips that help me and I believe they will also help you in your Homemaking ministry..

Love what you do

  • Firstly, you need to fall in love with everything that comes as a responsibility for you. Accept the things that you have to do without comparing yourself with another person or your spouse. Fall in love with cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids if that is what you have to do. Once you Love what you do, then you will see that it is now enjoyable when doing it and it will bring joy to you when you accomplish those duties.

Pay attention

  • Paying attention to your home is and family members is a very vital quality. if exercised daily it can save you a lot of time and energy. There are so many distractions around us and most women and wive work full time jobs, but we still have to try our best to focus on the happenings around our homes. Paying attention includes listening without interpreting, showing interest in every conversation or play, noticing the smallest changes in the house or with the kids behavior, being present when your spouse needs your help, knowing where to find things around the house, the list is long, but I supposed you get the idea.

Manage time well

  • Time management is a bit of a challenge especially since most women have jobs. It is still important that we manage our time well and have a schedule for some of the things done in the home. Remember that what we do in the home also contributes to the molding of our children. create time for playing with the kids and create time for your spouse as well and everybody should know just how to respect each other’s time.

Put your foot down, but kill the fun

  • Every family has a set of rules that every member has to abide by. have a set of rules that will help you run the home and do not compromise easily. Let the other members help you with some chores, have the kids sleep at the same time on weekdays for example, anything that works for all of you. the rules have to be respected.

Be Hospitable 

  • Hospitality is very crucial for every woman and wife. A home is supposed to be welcoming to visitors. How you receive and treat  people in your home says a lot about your family.  Its a skill that the whole family needs to lean intensively because children can embarrass you in the presence of visitors so they need to be let in on what exactly they are supposed to do when visitors come in.

Be clean Always

  •  It is said that cleanliness is next to Godliness! A clean home is very attractive and safe but an unkept home is unsafe and emanates negative energy. Learn to keep things in order and get rid of staff that you do not use or need-that is, avoid clutter! teach your children to stay clean as well. 

Be spontaneous and keep learning

  •  There is a lot that is involve in homemaking and it is a personal responsibility for every woman to make time for learning new things all the time. Learn new recipes, new games, home decorations just to mention a few. Stay unpredictable and you will see just how you become the number one mother and wife

Hope these will help you track where you are. there is a lot to it I just can not put it all in one post. Thank you for reading. 

In my next blog post o will write on the different areas that need your attention in the home as a homemaker. look out for it

 

Love Amede

You are Good Enough

In today’s world most people are struggling to find their passion. Because of high rates of unemployment most people take jobs that do not match their passion just so they can put a meal on the table and have a shelter over their heads. People are so misplaced and as a result they are stressed and even depressed because they do not get peace and joy from what they do daily. Many do not just have the motivation to even try to follow their dreams. the world is so full of competition right!

Have you ever been discouraged and thought you were not good enough at doing something that you were talented at?

Most people have quit at trying to be the best that they can because they believe they are not good enough. well the question is;

You are not good enough in comparison to who?

The truth is you will never be as good as anybody simply because you are not them! You can never be good at anything the way other people are. You are unique and no body could ever copy you a hundred percent even if they tried!

Over the past few years I felt so discouraged and did not see the point of me pursuing my dreams. I compared myself to others a lot and felt people would reject what i had to offer. Guess what? After putting a lot of effort into developing myself in the area of my talent I realised that i naturally attract people that need my help and everything just flows effortlessly. It give me pleasure to see the little improvements I make daily.

You might even be thinking no one will take you serious! well those are the thoughts that pull you backwards. Start by believing in who you are and what you want to offer the world! think it and speak it. Live life as if you have already reached your goals. Learn to take small steps daily and see just how much you can accomplish.

Remember, even at your very best, you can never be as good as anyone but yourself!

Love Amede

Be Good At Being YOU!

 

It is difficult to go through and enjoy life when you do not like yourself. if you have not learnt to accept yourself and get along with yourself then it will not be easy to get along with other people. The Bible repeatedly says to “love your neighbour as yourself.” so you see, you must first be in love with who you are before you can extend the love to someone else.  you can not give what you do not have!

At times we stay rooted in guilt, shame, inferiority, rejection, lack of love, poor physical appearance and so forth. All these affect our self perception and the quality of relationships we have with other people. However, once you have a revelation of God’s unconditional love for you and who you are in God’s eyes then you begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will thrive.

Are you having a hard time getting along with people? You might realised just how your difficulty with other people is actually “rooted” in your difficulties with yourself.

 

 tips that will help you succeed at being yourself

1. Privately confess good things about yourself .

Start the day making good confessions. You can do this while you’re driving to work, taking a walk or cleaning your house. Perhaps you could look in the mirror and say your confessions out loud. You may even try hugging yourself (i know it might sound silly!). This is beneficial for people who have lacked love and acceptance in their lives.

2. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, “I never do anything right.” “I’ll never change.” “I’m ugly.” “I look terrible.” “I’m dumb.” “Who could ever love me?”

Proverbs 23:7 says, …As he thinks in his heart, so is he. Matthew 12:37 says, …By your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about ourselves. 

3. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.

Every one is good at something. Put more energy in developing your skills and potentials and eventually you will win. some people have more limitations but still excel in their fields. I have seen people swim and run without limbs. Some paint and draw while blind. So there is no excuse to failure when we are gifted.

4. Never compare yourself with other people.

God  took his time to create you as you are and he gave you all the qualities that you have! He must love variety or He wouldn’t have created us all differently—even down to our fingerprints. You’ll never truly succeed at being yourself if you are trying to be like someone else. You can see the good in other people and even admire to learn a few things from them but you can not completely duplicate them. it will not be genuine!.

5. Be courageous and different.

Going along with the crowd, when you know in your heart that you ought to be taking a different path, is one reason people don not succeed at being themselves. You won’t like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser.

8. Keep your flaws in perspective.

Everybody has a weakness, even those who are over confident. Emotionally intelligent people concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or weaknesses.

 

Take time to evaluate yourself and see where you could improve. Ultimately invest in developing yourself because It is tough to enjoy life when you don not like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you will be well on your way to enjoying life more fully.

P. S

Love Amede

To the beautifuly and wonderfully created Woman!

This is for the woman who soaks her pillow at night. I have been there, I share your pain.

To the woman who have given her all and still doesn’t get anything in return. Your giving will not be in vain. Hold on to hope!

This is for the woman who has lost a loved one. Go on cry and let it all out. Then cherish the beautiful memories you have!

To the woman who has been shunned, rejected and battered! Crawl back to your heavenly father, let him give you peace and rest!

This is for you, bruised woman. You feel like you have crumbled to the floor. Arise! Pick up the pieces and stand tall.

To you forgotten woman! I see you. You are visible and capable. Take charge and make your story known. Let the world see you.

This goes to the woman who just wants to be loved. Love is within you! Let it overflow!

To the woman whose husband doesn’t return home after work! The clock ticks and he is far from home. Take a deep breath and kneel down.

To the woman who feels unfulfilled, the sky is the limit! Explore your options and work hard!

You are your home maker. You are creative oh woman. Look up! There is hope. Let go of the past and move forward! Let love lead

P.S

Love Amede💖

Behind the MASK!

One way or the other most of us are facing fear – We are afraid of being seen for who we truly are. We are Afraid of seeing ourselves for who we really are. We are Afraid of confronting our limiting beliefs, and we avoid facing fear by hiding!

Proverbs 13:7
There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth.

In the quest to prevent our true inner self from being seen, we wear a symbolic or metaphorical mask over our authentic personality in the hope that we will remain hidden. Behind it there is confusion, fear and loneliness. But we hide this. We don’t want anyone to know it. We panic that our weakness and fear will be exposed.

That is why we sometimes create a mask behind which to hide. An indifferent and sophisticated facade that helps us to pretend. It serves as a shield before a knowing eye. As long as it makes us feel accepted and loved. That we are someone, that we are worthy.

Why do we put on a mask?

Fear and doubt
It is fear and doubt that creates the mask, and fear which keeps it in place. What we miss is that the mask hides our true and most beautiful self from both ourselves and from the world. It prevents us from becoming our best potential.

In order to find our authentic self we must align ourselves with the word of God and face fear by digging down to the deepest, most hidden part of ourselves, that fearful place where we dread what we think is hidden.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

When we dig deeply enough into our hidden nature we find not darkness but light and the realization that our safety lies in actually letting down the mask and being seen in being our true selves.

Are you hiding behind a mask? Would you be surprised if I told you that most people are not being who they truly are and that, in fact, we are trained or influenced by many factors from a very early age to move away from our true selves.

Growing up, we are taught by other people or the society on how to behave, how to think, what to believe and who to be. We are given direct or indirect messages that if we behave in certain ways this and that will happen. That we are not good enough. And that certain behaviors, emotions and ways of thinking are bad. Forever trying to please!

Because of this early conditioning, some people create masks so that they can belong and feel as if they fit in. They want to gain the approval and acceptance of others. Many people fall so fully into living behind their masks that they never have the opportunity to experience the richness of who they really are. Very sad!

I am certainly no exception to the rule. I grew up with so many misleading negative believes and perceptions. This influenced the courses I chose at school, the people I hanged with, the visions I had about my future, the relationships I entered into and so on. This was the role I played so that I would be accepted!

This same problem exists for so many others. I see people every day that are trapped behind a mask that they have created. Many are stuck in bad jobs or relationships and have given up hope that they can ever have the life that they truly want.

Are you worried that this may be you?

-Do you feel like you are living a lie?

-You are persuing a job or are you in a relationship that you know isn’t right for you?

-Have you dealt with depression or anxiety?

-How often do you experience pure joy?

-Do You find yourself jealous or envying others?

If you are familiar with any of these qualities, the good news is that it is YOU who can absolutely break out from behind the mask. You can erase all the false and negative perceptions you have about life and replace them with positive goals and visions. You can uncover God’s promises over your life and live a fulfilled life. Once you begin being true to you, then you will find that you will be able to create the life that you’ve longed for…intentionally!

P.S

Love Amede

Love Amede Quotes #1

Our life is a matter of choices. One a daily basis we make choices, whether simple or complex. The decisions we make today may affect us tomorrow positively or negatively. Therefore great thought has to go into making complex choices about our lives. It is here that one has to put aside pleasing people because we are the ones that hold the pen of our lives.

If you were to choose between turning the pages or closing the book, what will you choose? As for me I will choose to just turn the page. I will not close the book yet, because the moment I close the book it means my journey has ended. It means I have quit. I would rather just turn the pages so that I can still be able to know and experience what the next chapter has for me. Some people may opt to close the book just because something bad happened, and I think it is a huge mistake.

Life has different chapters and one bad chapter does not mean its the end of the book. When one door closes another door of opportunity opens. Yes, you may be experiencing sad and miserable chapters, you may be hurting and losing all hope, but you will not be spending your entire life in that unhappy state. Life goes on. If you will choose to close the book, you will never be able to know the ending. So why close the entire book if you can still turn the pages? We are free to make our choices in life but we need to be very careful in choosing. Some things happen to teach us lessons and to learn from it; not to give us reasons to give up. Have hope and see the light in the future.

Love Amede

How To Deal With a Narcissist

In my previous post we explored the traits of a narcissist, today we learn on how we can deal with such people in our relationships. Living with a narcissistic person can be extremely trying. So, what can you do if you find yourself in a close relationship with someone with narcissistic tendencies?

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
2 Timothy 3:1‭-‬5

The number one step is to recognise the traits either in your spouse or yourself and how you have been responding to it. Perhaps you have been responding to a narcissistic individual aggressively and without patience. Perhaps you have been unloving and withdrawing. This is unlikely to help the situation. Step back and reflect on the situation

Pride is a reason people do not feel they need a savior or forgiveness. Pride tells them they are “good” people or have a “good” heart. Pride also blinds people to their own personal responsibility and accountability for sin. Narcissism (pride) masks sin, whereas the gospel reveals the truth that leads to remorse for sin. Narcissistic traits can be dangerous because, at their worst, they will lead a person to destroy others to satisfy the lust of the flesh (2 Timothy 3:2-8).

Second, stop criticizing and start encouraging solutions. Encourage them to repent and develop a strong relationship with Christ. The further we withdraw from Christ the more we tend to develop negative habits. Labeling in this situation won’t help anything, neither will criticizing them. Instead of criticizing, isolate specific issues you wish to change and enlist your mate in working with you to change them—one at a time. Keep a positive focus, pray for them and use your strengths in solving problems.

Third, attack the problem, not the person. Learn to separate the person from the problem. When we get born again, God does not see sin in us, he sees us as perfect and sin is seperate from us. So, Choose a particular aspect of the narcissistic traits and encourage him/her to work on the problem with you. For example, if you don’t feel heard, ask them to practice listening techniques with you.

Fourth, set healthy boundaries. When the narcissist in your life tries to manipulate what you say, gently stop them and speak in a calm manner. When they attempt to twist your words, gently set a boundary. Speak up so you are both heard and so there is mutuality in your marriage. Do not get angry during discussions as this will only make the situation worse.

Fifth, develop a prayerful life together. Praying together will draw you even more closer and expose the things that feeds the negative behavior. Learn to handle everything with prayer first before you can discuss it. Let the word of God reign in your hearts so as you can easily meditate on it. This will help to deal with the problem from the root. It will restore the thought pattern of the narccisist. The word of God says “as a man thinketh so is he”

Finally, seek professional help. A little bit of narcissism in a marriage can be toxic and emotionally draining. The narcissistic individual is likely to be overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor slights and becoming overly aggressive in response to these slights. Professionals can help you build a safe relationship where issues can be managed and resolved.

Try all these suggested tips and reply back if you find them helpful.

Love Amede

In a relationship with a narcissist?

Its amazing just how much abuse is in relationships these days and it almost or always goes unnoticed just because it is not physical. Yes emotional abuse is very real and is the number one should I say weapon that people use against one another in relationships.

A lot of people have unpleasant personalities whether learnt or generically acquired. Most of this personalities go unnoticed and or not dealt with and such people go into committed relationships. Now you can only imagine the kind of relationships they will lead.

Emotional abuse can leave one very stressed, wounded and down cast. If not dealt with the victim will end up being depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually and probably financially and then get blamed for it.

One unnoticed and unpleasant personality is NARCISSISTIC Personality Disorder. Not many people are diagnosed many are carriers if I must say. The characteristics of this personality are so obvious and one does not need a microscope to see them in their spouse or anybody they know. Before I talk about these taunting traits I must say I have seen this sickness and have even tasted it. It takes great strength and help from God to help yourself and the people you love ones you discover whether you or your spouse has the “disorder”.

A narcissist’s behavior is characterized by an exagerated feeling of self importance, an excessive need for self admiration and lack of empathy. They are loving, kind and generous until you disagree with them. You will go from being the perfect love of their lives to nothing you dois ever good enough amd you will give out your all but receive less or nothing in return.

Red flags

# They constantly put you down and leave you feeling like you cannot do anything right

# You find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect -they play dumb when they are caught

# They blame you for their shortcomings. They focus on your mistakes and ignore their own

# Never admit they are wrong- They are blame shifters, one minute you talk about something they did wrong and 59 minutes they talk about all you have ever done wrong in your life.

# Subjects you to silent treatment. They wait for you to apologies even if you did not do anything wrong

# Avoids emotions and accountability

# Instills doubt and fear in you. They are the master and you the subject.

# Rages if anybody challenges them. When they cannot control you anymore they turn other people against you.

These were just a few examples. Most of which we have experienced one way or the other in our relationships.

Take a close look and check if you or your spouse has the above traits.

In my next blog post I will share on how we can deal with this personality “disorder”. God is able.

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